When Constellations Form (Light in the Dark Book 4) Read online

  “Sure thing, sweetheart.” He kisses my forehead and leaves me in the bathroom to clean up.

  Five minutes later I leave the bathroom. Our food is already packed in boxes and bagged away.

  “I already paid,” he tells me as I approach. “So we can get out of here.”

  I grab my purse and then take his hand, letting him lead me out of the restaurant. I feel embarrassed that all those people saw me go flying into the bathroom to throw up, but I can’t help it. It is what it is, and I’m going to have to get used to it.

  Pregnancy is definitely no cakewalk from what I’ve experienced thus far.

  All those smiling and happy women on TV are a bunch of liars and should be sued.

  We head home, and once we get there I head straight for the couch, curling up on it with Prue.

  Xander fixes me a glass of ginger ale and then heads to his home gym—I say his, because the idea of me ever using any of the equipment in there is laughable.

  I wiggle around on the couch and get comfortable. I’m hungry, but I’m too scared to attempt to eat something, so I watch TV instead.

  “Well, Prue,” I sigh, curling my fingers into her fur, “it’s going to be a long eight months.”

  She looks up at me with big brown eyes, and I swear she nods.

  See, even the dog knows this isn’t going to be easy.

  Xander

  8 Weeks Pregnant

  “Are you going to love me when I’m fat?”

  I look up from my book and bust out laughing. “What the hell is that?”

  “I know it’s lumpy, but I had to work with what I had.”

  I shake my head. Thea has what looks like a sweatshirt wadded up into a ball and stuffed under her shirt.

  “Now, I’m serious, are you still going to love me when I look like this?” She presses her hand to her fake round stomach.

  My wife is a nut case, but at least there’s never a dull moment.

  “I’ll love you forever, no matter what,” I tell her honestly.

  I’ve loved that girl for so long, even when I shouldn’t have.

  She sighs and sits down beside me. “I’m going to get so big.” She frowns, looking down at her fake belly. “I won’t be able to see my feet. I hope you’ll help me put my shoes on.”

  I chuckle, setting my book aside. “I’ll do whatever I have to do.”

  She rests her head on my shoulder. “It still doesn’t feel quite real yet.”

  “I know what you mean,” I agree. “We weren’t exactly prepared for this.”

  She pulls the sweatshirt out from under her shirt, revealing her flat stomach. I reach over, placing my hand against her stomach. She puts her hand over mine and smiles at me.

  “I wonder when we’ll feel it kick.”

  “I don’t know.” I shrug. “Maybe we should go to the bookstore and get some books. I feel so clueless about this whole thing.”

  “Ooh, yeah.” She brightens. “That sounds fun.”

  “I don’t really like calling it an it,” I admit. “That feels …”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean, it’s weird.” She purses her lips, thinking. “What about bean?”

  “Bean?” I repeat.

  She shrugs. “That’s what it looks like right now.”

  I nod. “Bean … I like it. Bean it is.”

  I remove my hand from her stomach and stand. “Let’s go.”

  “Right now?” She looks at me incredulously. “I just sat down.”

  I tilt my head at her. “If we don’t go now, we never will, you know how we are.”

  She laughs. “That’s true. Give me like five minutes to change.”

  I groan, tilting my head back to the ceiling. “Five minutes—that’s five hours to you.”

  “I won’t be long, promise.” She scurries out of the room and up the steps.

  She’s going to get all dolled up, like usual, and there I’ll be in my gym shorts, t-shirt, and baseball cap.

  I settle back on the couch with my book, because no matter what she says, she’ll be at least an hour.

  It’s a fact of life.

  Prue sits beside me on the couch, resting her head on my leg.

  I pet her, smiling.

  Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without Prue. She came to us accidentally, and now I can’t imagine not having her. Everyone in our family loves her too.

  An hour and five minutes later, Thea comes downstairs, with her hair and makeup done, and a dress with heels.

  “Uh …” I start. “Is it safe to wear heels when you’re pregnant?”

  She narrows her eyes. “As long as I’m comfortable, it’s fine. Heels are my life, don’t try and change me now.”

  I chuckle and raise my hands in surrender. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

  I let Prue run out back to pee before we go, and then grab a bottle of water.

  We go in my truck—we always do when it’s both of us, because I refuse to try and fit my giant self in her Mini Cooper. I’m a big guy, that’s a small car, and I’m not going to hunch.

  “We’re going to have to get an SUV,” I tell Thea as she climbs in my truck.

  “What?” She looks at me like a deer caught in headlights. “Why?”

  “Because, you can’t be climbing in and out of my truck when you’re nine months pregnant—and I don’t think it’s that safe for a baby, and your car is too small.”

  “We’ll make it work.” She shrugs, buckling her seatbelt.

  Thea doesn’t like me spending what she calls unnecessary money—for example, buying a new car. But I view it as a necessity. We have to have something family friendly, and neither of our cars is that.

  “We can always strap the little bean to a buggy and haul it behind your motorcycle.”

  I narrow my eyes on her. “That wasn’t remotely funny.”

  “It was hysterical.” She smiles widely.

  “This is serious,” I defend, backing out of the garage.

  “I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal,” she mutters. “We have room. Your truck is plenty big. It has a whole backseat for fuck’s sake.”

  “Thea …”

  “Shit.”

  “Aw, dammit, I did it again … and again.” She slaps a hand over her mouth.

  I smirk. “That’s three quarters for the swear jar. At the rate you’re going, you’re going to pay for Bean’s college education before they’re even born.”

  “Stop.” She lightly smacks my arm in jest. “I’m not that bad.”

  I raise a brow. “Really?”

  “Okay, so I’m awful, but I don’t mean to be so that counts for something, right?”

  “Whatever you have to tell yourself so you feel better.” I wink.

  She pouts, looking out the window. I reach over and take her hand in mine. I bring her hand to my lips, kissing her knuckles.

  I might pick on her for excessive use of swear words, and her overall dramatics, but it’s one of the things I love the most about her.

  She keeps me on my toes. There’s never a dull moment.

  I turn onto the next street and then into the strip mall complex that has the bookstore.

  I park and Thea hops out. I meet her at the front of the truck and take her hand in mine. I glance down at her heels, shaking my head. I don’t know how she wears those things, let alone walks in them. Girls are talented creatures who don’t get enough credit.

  We head into the store, and I ask one of the clerks for help.

  Thea gives me a disgusted look, because she hates asking people for help. I, on the other hand, don’t want to waste my whole day looking for what I need when someone could easily help me.

  “Everything you’ll need is here.” The clerk smiles, pointing down an aisle. “Do you need help with anything else?” she asks, smiling pleasantly at us.

  “No, we’re good, thanks.” She scurries away to another part of the bookstore and Thea and I are left alone.

  I squat down, reading the tit
les. Thea scans some books a few feet away.

  I pull a couple out and lay them on the floor. Thea grabs a couple and then we head to the checkout.

  “Do you mind if we go to the furniture store next door?” Thea asks, biting her lip nervously like she’s scared I’m going to say no. “We still need some things, and I’d like to look while we’re out.”

  “Yeah, that’s fine with me.” I’ll be bored out of my mind, but it’s fine. “I guess we also have to shop for a nursery now.” I hadn’t thought about that. Babies are so small but they need so much stuff.

  “Yeah, I’ve already been looking.”

  “Really?” I raise a brow as we move up in line.

  She nods. “I won’t get anything yet—not until we know if Bean is a boy or a girl, but I wanted to get an idea of what I liked.”

  “And?” I prompt.

  She shrugs. “It’s all so cute. I want it all.”

  I chuckle. “Something tells me this baby is not going to help your shopping addiction.”

  “Not at all,” she agrees.

  I shake my head, and it’s finally our turn so I drop the books on the counter with a thump.

  The clerk rings it up and I hand my card over to pay. Thea eyes the magazine stand behind the checkout and I look at what she’s looking at.

  A blond, blue-eyed, baby drools on the cover of some parenting magazine and I see her cringe.

  I hate that she’s so worried about this, that she doesn’t trust herself to be a good mom.

  It’s breaking my fucking heart.

  I have to come up with some way to show her that this is going to be the greatest thing to ever happen to us.

  I collapse on the bed, rolling to face Thea’s laptop.

  “What are you watching?” I ask her.

  “YouTube videos of people revealing they’re pregnant.” She sniffles.

  My head whips up to her, shock clouding my eyes. “Are you crying?”

  She glares at me. “I’m pregnant, and apparently that makes you real fucking emotional, okay? I can’t help it. I’m not normally so weepy, but this stuff is so sweet.”

  I clear my throat. “Quarter.”

  “Oh, shut up,” she grumbles.

  I grin slowly. It’s hard not to be amused by her.

  “So have any of these given you any ideas on how to tell everybody?” I ask, reaching over to tap the keyboard to pause the video so we can talk.

  She shakes her head. “No—the crying started pretty much immediately so after that my only thoughts were, ‘aw’ and ‘this is so sweet’. I wasn’t really thinking about how it could apply to us.”

  I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. “Maybe we just tell them and don’t make a big deal out of it.”

  Her mouth pops open and she looks at me, horrified. “No. No way.” She shakes her head roughly back and forth. “We have to do something. I’m not saying it has to be extravagant, but I’m not just going to be like, ‘Surprise, I’m knocked up!’.”

  “I didn’t think we’d say it like that,” I mumble, looking down at the bedspread.

  She waves a hand dismissively. “We’ll think of something. We have a week.”

  Prue jumps up on the bed and over my legs, so she can lie between us.

  “Pretty soon it’s going to be the dog and a baby in bed with us,” I comment, looking at the empty space above Prue.

  Thea’s lips part in surprise, her hazel eyes wide. “That’s so weird to think about. There’s going to be another person living here. Everything’s going to change.”

  I reach over, touching my fingers to her cheek. “Nothing’s going to change,” I disagree. “Life’s just going to get better and it’s going to be amazing.”

  She smiles at me, her eyes trusting. “I hope you’re right.”

  I grin back. “I know I am.”

  Thea

  9 Weeks Pregnant

  I fix the bows on the gift bags—one for Xander’s parents, and one for my mom—and step back, appraising my handiwork.

  “You did good,” Xander comments, stepping up behind me and winding his hands around my waist.

  I lean against him, tilting my head back so I can look at him. “You think so?”

  He nods, pressing his lips against my neck. “They’re going to be shocked, though, that’s for sure.”

  I came up with the idea to put baby things in a bag to give them. I figured it was cuter than just blurting it out, and it wasn’t too crazy.

  “Are we taking Prue with us?” I ask, untangling myself from his arms and picking up the bags.

  “Yeah, I think we should. It’ll be a long day for her if we don’t, and my parents don’t mind.”

  Everybody is meeting at Xander’s parent’s house for the holiday. We thought about doing it here, but since we only moved in a few weeks ago, we chose not to.

  “Come on, Prue,” Xander calls out and then whistles.

  Prue comes running down the stairs, her collar jingling.

  She skids around the corner, her paws sliding on the hardwood. She runs straight toward us, then around, and stops outside the garage door.

  “How does she already know?” I whisper-hiss.

  Xander chuckles, pressing his hand to my back to urge me forward. “Because she’s a dog. They know everything.”

  I move the bags to one hand and open the garage door.

  I set the bags on the backseat and climb into the truck. I’m beginning to see what Xander means about needing a family car, even if the idea disgusts me. I love my little car, and he loves his truck, so getting another vehicle seems like too much. Who needs three cars? But the idea of climbing in and out of his truck when I’m hugely pregnant or having to squat to get into my small car, is not appealing in the slightest.

  I climb in the passenger seat and buckle my seatbelt. Xander lifts Prue into the truck and she pokes her head in between the seats, licking my arm.

  “Hey, girl.” I laugh, petting her head.

  Xander climbs into the truck and looks over at me. “Are you ready?” he asks, tilting his head.

  I know he’s asking me if I’m ready to tell them—not if I’m ready to go.

  I nod, and smile, but I’m sure he can still see the tension in my eyes. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

  It’s a lie, though.

  I’m so not ready.

  I still haven’t wrapped my head around this whole thing and now we have to tell people. Up until now it’s been something fairly easy to dismiss from my mind—to pretend it’s not real—but now there will be no denying this.

  Ready or not, here comes baby.

  We pull up to Xander’s parents’ house and find the driveway already filled with vehicles.

  Which means we’re probably the last ones here, and I can’t delay the inevitable.

  I hop out and smooth my hands down my fitted white dress. Looking at me, you’d have no idea that I’m pregnant. It’s proof that looks can be deceiving.

  I open the back door of the truck and grab the two gift bags while Xander gets Prue.

  The bags are blue and red for the Fourth of July. I didn’t want to do anything babyish that would give it away before they got to the contents of the bag.

  Xander meets me at the other side of the truck, with Prue on a leash. He takes one of the bags from me and then holds my hand. He gives it a slight squeeze and gives me a reassuring smile.

  “It’s going to be okay. Breathe.”

  I do as he instructs.

  He lowers his head, brushing his lips over mine, and when he pulls away, I laugh. “You have lipstick on you now.” I move the bag to my wrist so I can use my fingers to wipe the red smear away. “Got it—but whore red is a great look on you.”

  He snorts. “Noted.”

  “I’ll buy you a shirt.” I grin at him.

  “I’m sure you will,” he grumbles.

  “Gotta feed my addiction.”

  We head inside, not bothering to knock. The house is empty, so Xander keeps goi
ng, straight out the back.

  We find everybody gathered around tables, or standing talking. Xander’s dad, Cooper, is grilling, and his mom is chatting with mine. His sister, Alexis, and brother, Xavier, are bickering—because siblings never grow up. I spot my brother, Rae, Jace, and Nova at a table hanging out. Nova sits on Jace’s lap and he sips at a beer. Cade and Rae sit side by side, Cade’s fingers brushing against her leg.

  “So,” I hiss under my breath, “are we doing this now or waiting?”

  “Uh …” Xander pauses, looking around at everybody, and I can finally sense his nervousness about this whole thing. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one freaking out. “I think we should do it now. Rip it off like a Band-Aid.”

  I try not laugh and fail. “Did you just compare the revealing of our child to ripping off a Band-Aid?” I whisper so no one can hear me. Besides, they’re all so absorbed in their own thing they haven’t even noticed us.

  “I’m nervous, give me a break,” he defends.

  I smile, pleased that his feathers have finally been ruffled by this whole thing. He’s been so calm the last few weeks, taking the whole thing in stride while I’ve freaked out. It’s nice to know he’s not as impenetrable as he always appears to be.

  “Hey, guys!” I finally call out.

  “Oh, hi!” Xander’s mom, Sarah, cries. She hops up, hurrying over to us. “I’m so glad you guys came. I know you’re probably still busy with the move.” She hugs me.

  “It hasn’t been too bad,” I say with a smile. “We finished everything within the first week. We have some more things to buy so the house isn’t so bare, but other than that it’s done.”

  “Well, that’s great news. Your dad will be done grilling soon and then we’ll eat,” she says to Xander, and pulls him into a hug. “I’ve missed you.” She stands on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

  “I’ve missed you, Mom.”

  “Come, come.” She waves her hand “Get a drink and sit down.”

  “Oh,” I say, holding out one of the bags. “Can we do gifts first?”

  Sarah smiles at the bag. “That was sweet of you. You didn’t need to get me anything.”