In Your Heart Read online

  © Copyright 2015 Micalea Smeltzer

  Smashwords Edition

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Cover design and photography by Regina Wamba at Mae I Design

  Formatted By Ready, Set, Edit

  TRACE + OLIVIA SERIES

  Finding Olivia

  Chasing Olivia

  Tempting Rowan

  Saving Tatum

  SECOND CHANCES SERIES

  Unraveling

  Undeniable

  WILLOW CREEK SERIES

  Last to Know

  Never Too Late

  In Your Heart

  STANDALONES

  Beauty in the Ashes

  Rae of Sunshine

  “Music exists to speak the words we can’t express.”

  —Unknown

  I WAS GETTING married in two weeks.

  I was getting married in two weeks and I was standing here watching my so-called fiancé stick his dick in a woman that wasn't me.

  An inhuman shriek crawled out of my throat and I grabbed the first thing I could get my hands on which happened to be one of Braden’s baseball caps—granted, it wouldn’t do much damage, but at least it was something—and threw it at his bare back. He was already turning to look at me over his shoulder, his hips still thrusting against the skank beneath him, when the cap hit him.

  “What the hell?” He glared at me.

  At me, like I was the one doing something wrong.

  “Excuse me?” I stormed forward. My whole body shook with barely contained rage.

  Before I could reach them he stood up, wrapping the bed covers around his waist and leaving the woman in our bed lying there completely naked.

  That was Braden for you, ever the gentlemen.

  He held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Let’s talk about this, Sadie.”

  “Yeah, let’s talk!” I screamed, waving a hand in the direction of the woman lying on my sheets. “Let’s talk about the fact that apparently you slipped and fell and your penis ended up in someone else’s vagina! Thank God she was there to break your fall!” I yelled sarcastically.

  “It’s not what—”

  I slapped him across the cheek. My hand left behind a red imprint on his skin. His teeth snapped together and he glared down at me.

  “Don’t you fucking dare tell me it’s not what it looks like,” I shouted, my hands shaking at my sides.

  The woman in our bed was still lying there. Why, I didn’t know. Maybe she thought I’d be kind enough to leave and let them finish.

  As. Fucking. If.

  “Sadie—”

  He grabbed my arm and I screamed so loud that I was sure everyone in the apartment complex heard me. “Take your fucking hand off of me!!”

  Braden, surprisingly, let me go. He took a step back and I swore his skin had paled a shade.

  That’s right asshole, be afraid. Be very afraid.

  I poked a finger into his chest—a chest I had once found to be a magnificent piece of masculine perfection.

  “I can’t fucking believe you! After everything you’ve put me through you go and do this! Seriously?! What the fuck did I ever see in you?!” The words poured out of my mouth. I was beyond hurt and pissed off. This was the man I’d planned on spending the rest of my life with, the man I’d given up so many important things for, and here he was fucking another woman only weeks before our wedding.

  It was comical really, the irony of it all, since he’d been convinced I was sleeping with my friend Ezra. I thought of all the ridiculous accusations Braden had lobbed my way, and I couldn’t help wondering if his own indiscretions led to his insecurity.

  Hell, Braden had practically forced me to end my friendship with Ezra.

  Why? Why had I been so blinded? When did I become this weak, sniveling excuse for a person that I let an asshole like him walk all over me? And why did it take me seeing him fucking someone else, to finally snap back into reality and realize what a complete asshole he was?

  Fuck.

  It was like I’d been brainwashed.

  I tore at my hair, my breaths coming out in little gasps.

  Anger at myself, at him, and at the bitch in my bed simmered dangerously in my veins. It wouldn’t take much for me to snap and lose my ever-loving mind.

  “Sadie, let’s talk about this—”

  “Should I get dressed?” The woman in our bed spoke up.

  “Yes!” I screamed.

  Her eyes widened and she slipped from the bed, looking around for her clothes.

  With another scream I started for the kitchen.

  “Where are you going?” Braden asked, trailing behind me.

  He kept stopping to untangle his feet from the too-long sheet wrapped around his waist.

  I wished he would trip and die.

  “Sadie,” he started in again.

  I opened one of the various drawers in the kitchen and pulled out a knife, waving it around like a crazy person.

  He paled further.

  “Sadie, put down the knife.”

  “No!” I screamed. “I think I should cut your dick off so you can fuck yourself with it! Would that suffice?!”

  Braden’s mouth fell slightly open.

  He was afraid.

  Good.

  The asshole should be afraid for his life.

  Or the life of his penis, which was really the most important thing to him.

  “I’m calling 911!” I heard the woman shout from my bedroom.

  “Go ahead, bitch!”

  “Sadie, be reasonable,” Braden started.

  I thrust the knife in his direction, flailing my arms about like I’d seen jousters do on TV. “Reasonable?! You want me to be reasonable?!”

  “I’m a man, I have needs—”

  “Oh for fuck’s sake!” I threw my hands up in the air. “Your needs? That’s seriously the excuse you’re using? Wow, you’re dumber than I thought.” Laughing manically, I cried, “Who am I kidding? I’m the dumb one for being with you.”

  When I met Braden he’d been…perfect. I knew that sounded cliché, but it was true. He was everything I’d always wanted and more. He treated me nicely and was always a gentleman. Once things got serious he started changing. I chalked it up to the fact that he’d recently started a new job. When things got worse after our engagement I found every excuse possible to explain his behavior. I’d been so naïve.

  Everybody had tried to warn me that something wasn’t right.

  But I’d been blinded by…love?

  No, that wasn’t the right answer.

  I think I’d been more blinded by my own need not to be wrong.

  It was like I felt by giving up on my relationship with Braden it was admitting defeat—admitting that everyone else had been right about him.

  Look where that got you? My conscience piped in.

  “Sadie.” He took a few steps forward.

  “Stay away from me!” I jabbed the knife in his direction. I wasn’t really going to hurt him, but oh how I wanted to.

  “Sadie, put the fucking knife down and let’s talk about this,” he pleaded.

  I wiped the back of my hand over my tear stained face.

  Why the fuck was I crying over this loser? He didn’t deserve a single tear from me.

  “Talk about what?” I spread my arms wide. “The fact that I’ve wasted the last two years of my life with you? Or
the fact that if I hadn’t caught you in the act I would be your wife in two weeks.” I shook my head, laughing under my breath. I began to slow clap. “Thanks for saving me the nightmare of divorce court, asshole.”

  “We can work this out—”

  “Work this out!” I shrieked, charging forward. “Are you fucking crazy? I am done with you!”

  To further prove my point I pried off my engagement ring, throwing it at his head. He tried to catch it, dropping the sheet from around his waist in the process.

  “You disgust me,” I spat through clenched teeth.

  He hurried to grab the sheet to cover himself once more, as if I might charge forward and make good on my previous threat.

  He opened his mouth to speak, but I stopped him.

  “I swear to God, if you say my name one more fucking time I will cut off your tongue too!”

  “Don’t worry, babe,” the slut from my bed strolled down the hall, dressed only in skimpy lingerie, “I called the police and I recorded everything she said on my phone.”

  I gulped, suddenly not feeling so bold.

  The evil glint in her eye told me I was in trouble.

  She leveled me with a smirk. “I’m a lawyer,” she said the words slowly like I was too dumb to process them, “and this,” she waved her phone around, “is enough to get you arrested.”

  Oh, fuck.

  I steeled my shoulders, refusing to let the bitch know her words had gotten to me.

  Braden glanced from her to me, not saying a word.

  Two years together and the asshole couldn’t even come to my defense and tell the bitch that I hadn’t really meant anything by it. Heat of the moment and all that jazz.

  Nope, he just stood there blinking like it was the only thing he was capable of doing.

  My teeth gnashed together and I dropped the knife on the floor. I wanted to launch myself at the bitch with my claws out, but she’d already won.

  Although, that was laughable, because apparently the prize was Braden and I could see now that he was hardly worth bragging rights.

  She could have him.

  And I would laugh when he cheated on her.

  Because he would.

  Men like him didn’t change.

  I turned to Braden, my shoulders slumping with exhaustion. I’d been so wound up and now the air had left my sails. I was just…done. I wasn’t going to waste another breath yelling at him. Nothing I said would penetrate its way through his thick skull the way he penetrated his mistress. He definitely wasn’t worth it either. I’d been crazy to ever think he was the guy for me.

  Sirens sounded outside the apartment building.

  “I’ll go let them in.” The tramp smiled.

  “Shouldn’t you go put some clothes on,” I snapped.

  She looked down. “Oh, right.”

  She disappeared back into the bedroom while Braden and I stood staring at each other. When she returned she was wearing my ripped shorts and my lavender tank top.

  The calm defeat I’d felt a moment before instantly disappeared.

  How dare she wear my clothes.

  I screamed again, charging forward, and grabbed the bitch’s hair before Braden could stop me.

  That’s when the cops knocked on the door.

  From there, things escalated.

  I scratched her.

  She hit me.

  I hit back.

  She pulled my hair.

  I bit her.

  And then I got arrested.

  Today was not my day.

  I SAT ON the cold metal bench inside the holding cell, contemplating my life choices.

  I wondered what shitty decision led me to this moment.

  Was it when I attacked the bitch?

  Or grabbed the knife?

  Or when I first started dating Braden?

  I was betting on the latter.

  From the first moment I met him he screwed with my life and I let him, because I’d been dumb. There was no other explanation. I’d been so desperate to love someone that I’d tricked myself into thinking he was better than he was.

  I kept going over and over in my head different things he’d said and done, and wondered why I’d always swept his behavior under the rug.

  When did I become this girl that turned a blind eye?

  I’d always spoken my mind, but with Braden I let him speak for me.

  I put my head in my hands, letting out a small groan.

  I wasn’t going to be that girl anymore. I was going to get my fire back and conquer the world.

  Well, as soon as I got out of this jail cell.

  Footsteps sounded on the concrete floors and I stood up, praying that they were coming to let me out.

  A moment later a figure appeared.

  He was tall and thin. He kept his head ducked down and his unruly black hair hid his face.

  Slowly, he lifted his head to face me. His dark eyes were hidden behind a pair of round glasses and his cheeks and chin were covered in scruff like he hadn’t shaved in a week or more.

  My breath caught on an embarrassing gasp.

  It’d been six months since I’d seen him and he still took my breath away—not that I would ever tell him that.

  Once upon a time I’d had a crush on Ezra Collins, but soon his friendship became too important to me to ever cross that line.

  He tilted his head to the side, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

  “I thought I’d never hear from you again.” His eyes bore into me, hurt lacing his words. Chuckling, he added, “Let me tell you, I was quite surprised to answer the phone and hear your voice. Jail? Really, Sadie? What is it with you and Emma getting arrested?”

  I lifted a finger. “That wasn’t her fault.” I reminded him. “This…” My lower lip began to tremble with the threat of tears. “This is all me.”

  And that was the sad truth.

  “What exactly happened?” He asked.

  I stepped forward, wrapping my hands around the metal bars. “Do you think you can get me out of here first and then we can chat?”

  “Oh, right.” He shook his head, pushing his too long hair out of his eyes. He cracked a small half smile. “They didn’t want to let me back here, but I had to see this for myself.”

  I sighed, sitting back down on the bench with my hands splayed on my legs. “I’m glad you find this amusing, Ezra.”

  He shook his head, his eyes growing serious once more. “I’m sorry.”

  I flinched. I’d told him when I called that I caught Braden cheating on me.

  “Why?” I found myself asking. “You hated him.”

  “But I love you.” He paled, lifting his hands in surrender. “Not like that,” he added. “You’re my best friend, Sadie. I might’ve hated the asshole, but I still wanted you to be happy. This was the last thing I wanted to happen to you.”

  “But you knew it would,” I whispered, looking away from him and staring at the cinderblock cell wall instead, “you warned me and I didn’t fucking listen.”

  “You were in love.” He defended my actions.

  I turned back towards him. “Was I?” I retorted. “Because I don’t know anymore.”

  My shoulders sagged with my words. I didn’t think there had ever been a time in my life when I felt this defeated.

  He frowned, his mouth twisting as he struggled with something to say. Finally he muttered, “I better go take care of this.”

  “Yeah, that would be great,” I sighed. “I mean, this bench is nice and all, but I don’t really want to sleep here.”

  He shook his head and walked back down the hall.

  I felt bad that after six months with no communication this was what I called him for, but I knew I could count on him to bail me out.

  My parent’s would have too, but frankly I wasn’t ready to tell them all the gory details.

  Plus, my dad might kill Braden when I told him.

  I knew Ezra would keep his cool, even if he probably did dream about maimi
ng my ex-fiancé.

  In fact, the last time I saw Ezra he punched Braden in the face.

  Now, I wished I could go back and give Ezra a round of applause for that one.

  It took a while, but eventually they released me.

  Neither of us spoke as we walked out of the building. Ezra guided me through the parking lot and to his shiny black Cadillac Escalade.

  As soon as we were both seated in the car I broke down in tears.

  He didn’t say anything, which I was thankful for.

  He reached for my hand, holding mine in his and offering the smallest amount of comfort that he could.

  After a few minutes I wiped my face free of tears and he started the car.

  He pulled away from the police station and I watched the trees and traffic go by.

  “I don’t have anywhere to go,” I realized.

  I’d moved into Braden’s place when we got engaged. At the time I’d still been living with my parents but they’d since downsized. I wouldn't have wanted to impose on them anyway.

  I couldn’t stay with Emma either—my best friend since we were in diapers. She and her fiancé, Maddox—the drummer for Willow Creek, the band Ezra played in—still lived in the guesthouse behind his foster parent’s house. Maddox’s foster parents also happened to be Ezra’s real parents. They’d taken in Maddox and his twin brother Mathias when they were put into the system as teenagers. Maddox and Ezra were close, like brothers, while Mathias had always remained distant. That seemed to be changing though, according to things Emma had told me. Apparently, since Mathias rekindled with his high school love, Remy, and subsequently married her, he’d stopped distancing himself from his brother and band mates. They were also having a baby. Mathias Wade as a dad…I definitely hadn’t seen that one coming.

  “You’ll stay with me.” Ezra said simply, his eyes on the road ahead.

  I shook my head. “No.” My voice was firm. “I can’t impose myself on you like that. I won’t,” I reiterated.

  He glanced at me and then his eyes went back to the road. “You’re not imposing. You’re my friend and I’m doing you a favor.”

  “I don’t want any favors,” I ground out between my teeth, “this was enough.” I added, referring to him bailing me out of jail.