Beauty in the Ashes Read online

  In no time I was at Target. I meandered through the store, grabbing necessities I’d soon need. Like, towels. I’d definitely need towels. And food. Yeah, that was a must.

  When I finally checked out it looked like I was stocking up for the zombie apocalypse.

  I hoped I could find my way back to the apartment without getting lost.

  I got distracted when I spotted a sign that boasted: KITTENS FOR SALE!

  I wanted a kitten.

  I was alone.

  I had no friends here.

  A kitten would be nice.

  I really hoped they were selling kittens and it wasn’t a code word for cocaine or something.

  I pulled up to the house and strode up to the front door.

  It opened almost immediately and a harried young mother greeted me with an infant on her hip.

  “Hi,” I ventured, “I saw the sign about the kittens and I was interested.”

  “Oh, right. Come in,” she nodded me inside her messy house.

  Kids screeched, running around like they owned the place.

  “Back here,” she led me to a closed-in porch. “My cat got pregnant again and I can’t keep them. I want them gone, so you can have one for twenty bucks,” she explained, disappearing as she chased down a child.

  I stepped into the room, looking around for the kittens.

  It didn’t take me long to find them cuddled against their mother.

  I smiled, crouching down.

  One of the kittens pulled away from its mom, bouncing up to me and playfully trying to nip my fingers.

  It was cute and unusually colored. Half of its face was orange with a black ear, while the opposite was true of the other side. Most of its body was a dark gray with black stripes. Hints of orange dotted the mostly dark color—one of its paws was completely orange and there was a white patch under its mouth and front paw.

  “Hi cutie,” I reached out, letting it sniff me. “You wanna come home with me?” I asked, scratching behind its ear.

  It rubbed its head against my hand, letting out a content purr.

  I grabbed it up, cradling it against my neck. I didn’t need to play with any of the others. This one had chosen me.

  I stood up, carrying the kitten and cooing at it like one would a baby, and went in search of the woman.

  I found her in the kitchen, consoling the screaming infant that had been on her hip.

  She looked up at me, completely frazzled.

  “You find one?”

  “Mhmm,” I nodded, pointing to the cutie in my hand.

  She smiled. “Brutus is feisty. He’ll keep you on your toes.”

  “I can handle him,” I assured her, kissing his head. I handed her the twenty dollars and drove back into town to get supplies for my new friend. I knew my apartment had a one pet limit, so I was safe with Brutus.

  Once I was home, I sat Brutus down in the apartment, as well as my bags.

  It was getting late, the sun setting. I needed to get those curtains up.

  Luckily, I’d had the forethought to buy a screwdriver while I was at the store. This would be a piece of cake, right?

  Wrong.

  ⌘⌘⌘

  Caelan

  I stared at the canvas in front of me, willing my hand to move and make the strokes necessary to bring the image in my head to life. But I couldn’t. Why? Because someone was making too much damn noise!

  I threw the paint brush to the ground, not caring that watercolor paint went flying everywhere—all over me, my clothes, and my hair, as well as the walls and floors.

  Nobody in this whole fucking building had any respect for the fact that I needed silence to work. Noise was far too distracting when I was trying to paint. I needed to focus, and I couldn’t do that when other people were—I had no idea what this person was doing, it sounded like they were trying to kill something. Well, I wanted to kill them. If it wasn’t Frankie and his annoying girlfriend banging down walls with their raging sex life, it was Cyrus with one of his parties. This was neither of those things, and the commotion was coming from the apartment across from me. Somebody new had moved in. Whoever it was needed to learn real fast that I wouldn’t stand for interruptions while I was working.

  I shoved my fingers through my hair, no doubt spreading paint into the strands.

  My temper flared as I paced. I reached for the bottle of Jack Daniels I’d been drinking from earlier and took a large swig, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. My body vibrated from the leftover aftershocks of the hit I’d had earlier. Drugs and alcohol were my only true friends. Neither let me down.

  I knew it wouldn’t be long until I couldn’t help but barge over to the new neighbor’s place.

  When I heard a crash, I couldn’t wait any longer to say something.

  I stormed out of my apartment and straight into the one across from me, since the idiot had left the door unlocked.

  “What the fuck is all this noise?” I seethed, my fists clenched at my sides.

  A raven-haired beauty stared up at me from the floor with wide puzzled eyes. She looked from me, to the open door in shock. I wanted to laugh as she realized her own stupidity about leaving the door unlocked. She might have been gorgeous, but clearly she was also lacking in the brains department.

  I tapped my foot and crossed my arms over my chest as I waited for her to answer.

  She seemed to be battling some internal debate about whether to tell me to get the fuck out or actually answer my question.

  “I’m trying to hang curtains!” She glared at me, her light blue eyes full of annoyance at me.

  I sneered down at her, trying to appear angry and menacing, when really I was quite fascinated by her. I noticed she cradled her knee like she’d injured herself. That’s when I noticed the chair fallen to the side. “It doesn’t look like you’re doing a very good job,” I remarked, rocking back on my heels.

  “Obviously,” she snorted, rolling those pretty blue eyes at me.

  Something about her attitude amused me. She was a spunky little thing.

  I figured I wouldn’t get any work done until those damn curtains were hung, so I turned sharply, heading back to my apartment for my drill.

  It wasn’t long until I was breezing back inside. The woman had picked the chair up and was attempting to climb back on to resume her poor job of hanging curtains. Who knew curtains could be so complicated? Why did she even need curtains? If someone looked inside and got an eyeful it was their problem and they shouldn’t have been looking.

  “Jesus Christ! Not you again!” She yelled and the chair teetered, causing me to edge closer in case she fell and I needed to catch her. Whoa…since when did I think about helping someone? I looked down at the drill in my hand. I was going to blame my worry about the threat of her falling and wanting to hang her curtains on the fact that I wanted her to be quiet. It had absolutely nothing to do with her being gorgeous. None at all. Nope.

  I really wanted to know what she’d look like naked and what kind of sounds she’d make as I pleasured her.

  I shook my head forcefully and scolded myself for undressing her with my eyes.

  Ignoring her comment, I stepped around her, pretending that the coconut scent of her body lotion didn’t have all the blood in my body running south.

  I took the chair from her clenched hands and stood atop it to drill the brackets for the curtains into place.

  She watched me with her mouth hanging open. I wasn’t sure if she was impressed with my handy work, or still shocked that I had busted into her apartment like a crazy person. Probably both. Hopefully I could get some work done now. She might be hot, but my work was more important. So was drinking and getting high—as long as I numbed myself I didn’t have to remember what happened to my family or how fucked up my life had become because of it.

  Shaking my head free of my thoughts, I stepped down to make sure I had everything in place. No way was I going home only to have her start banging around some more because I hadn’t don
e something right.

  ⌘⌘⌘

  Sutton

  He appraised his handy work before his light blue eyes landed on me. Slightly wavy blonde hair fell over his forehead, his nose was sharp and defined, and his lips were set in a thin grim line like I was an unruly teenager he wanted to reprimand. “Maybe I’ll get some work done now,” he snapped, striding towards the door. Something stopped him, and he turned back to me, a mocking smile on his lips. “Nice pussy.”

  “What?” I gasped, shaking my head. Surely I hadn’t heard him right.

  “Nice. Pussy.” He said each word slowly like I was an idiot, and then nodded his head at Brutus.

  Before I could retort, he was gone, slamming the door shut behind him.

  I was stunned.

  Had that really just happened?

  I glared at the closed door, my anger getting the best of me.

  I swung it open, striding to the door across from mine, assuming that was his since it sounded like it had just closed.

  I slammed my fist against the door, refusing to let up until he opened.

  When it did open, I nearly fell, but quickly straightened myself.

  The man stood in front of me, with his hands braced above his head. He was watching me with an angry look, his lips curled into a snarl. He was a few inches taller than me, and slim like he didn’t have much to eat, but still muscular. His clothes were splattered with different colors of paint and there was even some in his hair.

  I shook my head, forcing myself to stop checking him out—even if he was insanely hot.

  “I don’t know who the hell you think you are,” I pointed a finger at him, “but I don’t appreciate you marching into my apartment like that. I don’t even know your name!” I threw my hands in the air, letting them settle on my waist.

  A single brow arched on his elegant face. “My name’s Caelan, and—?” He paused, waiting for my name.

  “Sutton,” I responded, tapping my foot and giving off the air of being completely pissed off.

  “Well, Sutton,” he said my name slowly, rolling it around on his tongue, “it sounded like you were really struggling over there. I thought I’d be neighborly and help,” he smirked. “You’re welcome.”

  “You—” And that’s the only word I got out of my mouth before he promptly slammed the door closed in my face.

  I had my fist raised, ready to pound on his door again when another door down the hall opened.

  A guy not much older than me stuck his head out, looking around, clearly disturbed by the slamming of the door.

  When he spotted me, a slow grin lifted his lips and he looked me up and down.

  “Did you piss off Gregory?” He chuckled. “Don’t you girls know by now that he fucks you once, then he’s done?”

  “What?” I looked around, confusion muffling my brain. “Who’s Gregory? Him?” I pointed to the door I still stood in front of.

  The guy leaned against the doorway of his apartment and nodded. “Yeah.”

  “He said his name was Caelan!” I fumed.

  “Oh,” the guy frowned, “he gave you his first name?”

  “Why wouldn’t he tell me his first name? So Caelan is his name? You’re confusing me,” I admitted, venturing closer to the guy.

  “His name is Caelan Gregory. He always tells his fuck buddies that his name is Gregory, so…if you’re not another notch on his bed pole, who are you?” He studied me carefully like he was trying to get a handle on me.

  “I’m Sutton,” I answered. “I moved in there,” I pointed back at my apartment. “And Mr. Rude over there busted into my apartment like a madman.”

  The guy winced. “Yeah, Cael, is kind of…well, you’ll learn soon enough,” he shrugged. “He’s an artist, and he doesn’t like to be…disturbed. Don’t worry though,” he added, “I’m more accommodating than Gregory.”

  I shook my head in annoyance. “I’m not interested.”

  He chuckled. “I have a girlfriend, so I’m not interested either. I am a nice guy, though. So if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m Frankie,” he held out a hand for me to shake and I took it hesitantly. “My sister, Daphne, lives with me. I’d introduce you, but I’m pretty sure she’s still sleeping off a major hangover.”

  “That’s alright,” I told him, backing away, “I really need to finish unpacking.”

  Before I disappeared inside my apartment, his voice stopped me.

  “Yeah?” I turned back around, my dark hair swishing around my shoulders.

  “Try not to piss off Cael too much. He’s already a pain in the ass to deal with on a daily basis. No one living here needs you to make it worse,” he frowned, tapping his fingers on the wood of the door. It was obvious he hated sounding like a jerk, but he was more scared of Caelan than me.

  “Trust me,” I glanced at the door across from mine, “you have nothing to worry about.”

  CHAPTER 2

  Sutton

  When I awoke I was momentarily disoriented since I didn’t recognize my surroundings.

  I shook my head, clearing my mind of cobwebs.

  “Meow.”

  I smiled, looking over at Brutus. “Hey,” I greeted him, scratching him behind his ear. He twisted his head further into the palm of my hand and began to purr.

  I pushed the covers off my body, heading into the bathroom.

  The bathroom was the only room in the apartment that was closed off from the rest. My bedroom was open to the living room and kitchen. I didn’t mind like most would. I didn’t plan on having any sleepovers, so…

  When I was finished in the bathroom I sat a bowl of food on the ground for Brutus. He happily chowed down, purring as he did. I couldn’t help but crack a smile at him.

  I’d picked up a coffee maker while I was shopping yesterday. Luckily, I’d taken the time to set it up last night, knowing I wouldn’t have the patience to do it now. I pushed the button to brew it and hopped up on the counter to wait for it. I needed to do more shopping today and I also needed to find a job. Yeah, a job was a must.

  My parent’s were pissed that I’d spent four years in college getting a business degree, only to take off after graduation with ‘no aspirations’. They were pissed at me for a lot of reasons, actually. Reasons that were far too painful to even think of.

  I was only twenty-two. I wanted to have fun and live a little before I settled down. I had never had the true teenage experience. I guessed I was rebelling now. I wanted to go to parties and make friends with the wrong people. I wanted to work at some neat little shop and stay up all night. I wanted to get a tattoo and shout from rooftops.

  Silly, I know, but it’s what I wanted.

  When the coffee was ready I poured the steaming liquid into one of the mugs I’d bought yesterday. I didn’t need to add sugar or creamer. I took a sip of the bitter liquid and winced. It was perfect.

  I drank all the coffee—my breakfast of choice—and showered. I pulled my wet hair up into a knot on my head and dressed in comfy clothes. I wasn’t planning to head out yet. Right now I wanted to unpack and get settled.

  I had only brought what I could fit in my car from Texas, which meant I was really lacking in anything except clothes and bedding. Luckily, I had enough money in my savings to get a couch and other things.

  I sat on the floor, unpacking boxes and organizing my clothes in the closet. Brutus watched me with quiet curiosity.

  Having Brutus around made me feel not so alone.

  Not that I minded being alone.

  When all the boxes were unpacked I flattened them down and tucked them under my arm so I could head outside to dispose of them.

  “I’ll be right back.” I told the kitten that was currently scampering after me.

  I bound down the steps and around to the side of the building. I dropped them in the dumpster, satisfied that I wasn’t being a complete procrastinator and had managed to get all my unpacking done.

  I rounded the building again, to go back inside, when I not
iced a lean figure walking down the street—away from the apartments.

  His head was bowed, as if deep in thought, and he walked quickly.

  I knew who it was.

  Caelan.

  If I hadn’t recognized the posture and overall attitude of the person walking away from me, the paint stained clothes would have given him away.

  I didn’t even know him, but I knew enough to see that he was a strange guy.

  I couldn’t figure out what his issue was. It was something more complex than him being an artist. There was more to him, I could see that, but I had no intentions of finding out what. Guys like Caelan were bad fucking news. I had come here to find myself, not to get wrapped up in some mystery.

  ⌘⌘⌘

  Caelan

  I felt my new neighbors eyes on me. I never knew that someone watching you could somehow feel like a caress.

  I itched to turn around and look at her, but I kept my head bowed and continued walking.

  I hadn’t been able to get her off my mind last night, and for once I’d gone to sleep thinking about a woman, and not my family. Something about her was captivating. Yeah, she was fucking gorgeous, but it was more than that. I’d come across many beautiful women in the last five years and none of them did more for me than provide a quick escape. Sutton…I knew she’d be different.

  I turned the corner and no longer felt her penetrating stare.

  Rolling my shoulders, I burrowed into a protective stance as I continued my walk—heading for the place I came to at least once a week.

  I was always sober when I came to the cemetery.

  It was necessary in order to let the feelings of loss and abandonment seep into my pores.

  This was the only time I couldn’t allow myself to be numb.

  I needed to hurt.

  It was the least I deserved for letting them die.

  I’d never forgive myself for not being there—for not saving them. I knew if I was there I could have done something.

  Instead, I was out partying, and fucking a girl who in the end I couldn’t even remember her face.

  That night—finding them—destroyed some fundamental piece of my soul. It took away any feelings of joy and left in its wake a rotting black hole. I ruined everything I came into contact with. I was a shitty person. I did bad things and didn’t feel a smidgen of grief for it. I liked to play with things, twisting and bending them to my will. I really wanted to play with Sutton. Her fiery personality ignited something in me that I couldn’t quite pinpoint yet. She was dangerous for me and I’d do well to stay away. I feared that’d be impossible though. People like Sutton, they suck you into their orbit, centering you and becoming your gravity—even if only for a moment.