When Constellations Form (Light in the Dark Book 4) Read online

  “I’m getting spoiled. First Greece and now this.”

  I smile back at her. “My first game is soon, and this is our anniversary, so I just wanted to get away.” I shrug. “Chances are, we won’t get away again before the baby’s born.”

  She inhales a soft little gasp. Anytime I mention the baby being born she does that. I think it scares her to realize how close we actually are to having a baby—she’s still in the early part of her second trimester, which makes it seem like we have time, but when you start looking at everything, we really don’t.

  “Things are going to get busy soon,” she says instead.

  I wish she wouldn’t do that—I wish she’d be honest about how she feels instead of bottling it inside. She’s going to explode one of these days. But that’s Thea, always thundering ahead.

  I take her hand and lead her to the bathroom.

  I don’t turn on a light, because covering the bathroom floor and counters are hundreds of little candles.

  They were a bitch to light, but seeing the look of awe on Thea’s face makes it all worth it.

  I wanted to curse and stomp around trying to do it, but I kept my cool so I wouldn’t ruin the surprise.

  It was worth it.

  The look on her face is everything.

  “Xander,” she murmurs, looking around the space, her skin glowing from the reflection of the candles. “This is amazing.”

  Her eyes land on the bathtub, it’s large, room enough for the both of us. I’ve filled it with warm water—but not too warm, since her doctor said that was a no-no—added bubbles, and peony petals on top. I know roses are the norm, but peonies are Thea’s favorite. There’s a small wooden table stretched over the bathtub and I’ve managed to sneak some snacks up here without her seeing. I even have a lemon and a knife to cut it. The rest of the snacks consist of cheese and crackers. Glasses of ice water round out the display, since Thea can’t drink and I don’t like rubbing it in her face. Plus, she wouldn’t take too kindly to it.

  “I love you.” She wraps her arms around my neck and stretches up on her tiptoes to kiss me.

  “I love you, too,” I whisper back, rubbing my nose against hers. My fingers graze her back where her shirt has ridden up and she shivers.

  Her eyes are bright and happy as she looks up at me, and I feel an immense sense of satisfaction because I put that look in her eyes.

  She bites her lip, nibbling on it, and I reach up plucking it from her teeth.

  “Don’t do that, you’ll bleed,” I scold.

  “I can’t believe you did all this,” she breathes. “I don’t deserve you.”

  I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “Don’t ever say that.”

  “Why not?” she asks, her voice slightly breathless. Her eyes keep darting around the darkened bathroom like she can’t quite believe what she sees.

  “Because that makes it sound like you’re somehow less than me, which is the furthest thing from the truth. I’ve never met anyone that’s more my equal than you.”

  Her lower lip trembles.

  “Are you going to cry?”

  “Yes.” She wipes a tear. “I’m pregnant—apparently that means you cry at everything.” She looks up at me, her hazel eyes wide. God, I hope our baby gets her eyes and not mine. They’re exotic and beautiful, unlike my brown ones. “You make me happy.”

  That sends a pang to my chest. “You don’t know how good it is to hear that, sweetheart.”

  I want to make her smile, and laugh, and for all her days to be filled with joy for as long as I’m alive.

  Her laugh is music to my ears and I never want to live a day without hearing it.

  I kiss her again, because I can’t help myself.

  Her lips are warm against mine, and slightly tangy from a lemon, which makes me smile.

  Her hands creep under my shirt, pushing the fabric up and I lift my arms, making it easier for her to remove it.

  It doesn’t take long for all our clothes to be piled on the floor in a rumpled mess. I take off my hat and drop it onto the pile and slip into the tub across from Thea, our legs bumping, with the table between us.

  She laughs, picking up a petal. “Did you murder a peony?”

  I shrug and the water sloshes. “It died for a worthy cause.”

  She sighs and drops the petal back into the water.

  “We find out the gender at my next appointment,” she says, and I’m kind of shocked that she’s bringing it up.

  I nod. “Yeah.” I pick up a piece of cheese and cracker and pop it into my mouth. I shouldn’t be eating cheese, but fuck it.

  “What do you want?” she asks, cutting up her lemon and adding some to her water.

  “Huh?” I ask, confused by her question.

  “Do you want a boy or a girl?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. Either would be fine, I’m a guy so I see myself with a little boy. It’s easier to picture what to do. What do you want?”

  “I thought I didn’t care, but last night …” she trails off and the water sloshes as she rubs her small bump.

  “Last night?” I prompt, trying to get her back on track.

  She inhales a breath. “Last night, I had a dream and the baby was a girl—and now I really want a girl.” She looks away, her eyes distant. “I want that.” She puts emphasis on the last word, and I know she means more than a girl.

  “You want what?” I urge her to tell me.

  She slowly brings her eyes back mine, and the sadness in them guts me. “I want what I didn’t have growing up. I want to be a mom who plays dolls, and does her kid’s hair, and plays dress-up and make-believe games. I want to go to dance recitals and games and encourage them to try new things. I don’t want to be a failure like mine.” She wipes away a tear. “Things are good now, but she wasn’t always there. I want our kid to know I’m always there.”

  “Oh, Thea.” My heart breaks. I wish I had some way to get to her, and hold her, but I can’t. “I’ve tried to tell you, and you don’t want to listen to me, but you’re going to be an amazing mom. There’s no luckier kid on the planet.”

  Her tears fall and she tries to hide them, but it’s pointless.

  Besides, there’s nothing wrong with tears. Tears show you care, and that’s never a bad thing.

  “You’re already a good mom, Thea,” I tell her and she wipes her tears away.

  “How?” she asks. “All I do is complain about being pregnant, eat, throw up, cry, and complain some more.”

  I laugh, because she’s right. “That’s true, but for you to say what you just did, you already care and love this child. That’s what tells me you’re going to be a good mom.”

  She mulls over my words and nods. “But it’s still scary. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never changed a diaper, ever.”

  “Ever?” I ask, trying to think of some time growing up when she must have. “Didn’t you babysit?”

  She shakes her head. “No. My dad wouldn’t let me.”

  I press my lips together, forcing back the not-so nice words I want to say.

  Malcolm Montgomery tore his family apart piece by piece and he didn’t even care.

  I hate that all those years that I was close with them I had no idea, because I would’ve put a stop to it. Told my parents. Something. Cade and Thea shouldn’t have had to grow up in that.

  All I can say is, at least the man is gone, and things are good now. Thea and I have each other, and Cade has Rae.

  “I guess it’s not too late to babysit,” I joke.

  Even though I say it as a joke, it gives me an idea.

  I think I finally have a solution to the problem, but I’m not saying anything to Thea yet. Over the years I’ve learned it’s better to do and not ask.

  So I don’t say anything to her about my idea.

  I grab her foot beneath the water and begin to massage it. Her eyes fall closed and she moans.

  I work my way up her calf, getting dangerously close to her center, before m
oving my hand back down.

  “I’m going to fall asleep,” she warns.

  “Do it,” I tell her. “I’m not going to let you drown.”

  She smiles at that, her eyes still closed.

  She trusts my words, and they’re not a lie. I’d risk my life for hers, and now our child’s. Call me crazy, but that’s what love does to you.

  Xander

  “We’re lost,” Thea announces beside me.

  “We’re not lost,” I groan.

  “We’re lost,” she says again, looking out the window. “Totally, and completely lost.”

  “No, we’re not,” I counter.

  “Yes, we are,” she argues. “I don’t know about you, but all I see is trees, trees, and more trees!” She grows shrill at the end.

  “Recalculating,” the navigation system announces.

  Thea gives me a pursed lip look. “See? We’re lost. We’re going to die out here and all they’re going to find is our vulture-eaten bones and maggots covering our clothes. Let me tell you, my dress and Louboutin heels are not going to look good on a skeleton. I better text Rae my back up.” She types furiously on her phone.

  “We’re not going to die, don’t be dramatic, we’re just a little turned around.”

  “Which is code for lost. Uh-oh.”

  “What?” I ask, stopping so I can mess with the navigation system. I’m not worried about stopping in the middle of the road, since so far there’s been nobody but us. I guess in hindsight, that’s not a good thing. At least if there were other people we could ask for help.

  She wags her phone in front of my face. “I lost cell reception.”

  “Recalculating,” the navigation system interrupts again.

  Thea gives me a look that says she’s not impressed. “We’re lost, and now we have no phones, or navigation system.”

  “All right, so we’re lost,” I finally agree, letting out an aggravated sigh.

  Someone told us about some natural spring that exists out in the woods of the complex our cabin is a part of, and we both wanted to check it out. Unfortunately, the directions they gave us were the shittiest directions known to man.

  “It’s okay,” I say, remaining calm and in control of the situation, since neither is something Thea’s capable of. “I’ll just turn around and head back the way we came.”

  She eyes me. “How? It wasn’t really much of a road and more of a path through the forest.”

  “It should be easy enough to follow my tire tracks.”

  “Whatever you say, Indiana Jones.”

  I shake my head and back up the truck to turn around. The road is narrow, only one lane, with lots of trees like Thea said, so it takes me a while to turn around without hitting anything.

  Once I’m turned around I start the slow drive back to where we started.

  Thankfully, I make it there without incident. There’s a road that leads back to our cabin, and another that leads to the resort.

  “Where do you want to go?” I ask, putting the ball in her court.

  “Would you hate me if I said I wanted to go back to the cabin and watch movies?”

  “We can do that at home,” I tell her.

  “I know.” She shrugs. “But it’s my favorite thing to do with you … besides the obvious.”

  I grin slowly. “What’s the obvious?”

  She rolls her eyes, fighting a smile. “Sex, of course.”

  “Ah.” I nod, fighting a smile. “Of course,” I echo, matching her tone.

  I turn to head back to the cabin. Considering we’re spending the weekend away, I think we should go do something but if Thea wants to sit around and watch movies, who am I to tell her no?

  I park the truck and we head inside. I got popcorn when we went to the grocery store, so I start popping it while Thea selects a movie.

  “How do you feel about Dirty Dancing?” she asks.

  “I guess that depends—is anybody naked? Because it sounds like they’re naked,” I joke.

  The family room is open to the kitchen, and she launches the remote at my head. I duck behind the counter and it bounces off the top, where it would have missed me anyway.

  “You need to work on your aim,” I tell her.

  She makes some high-pitched noise, mocking me. I end up laughing harder.

  She starts the movie and I finish with the popcorn.

  “You want any snacks?” I ask.

  “Just some lemons,” she replies.

  I shake my head. “Those can’t possibly be good for you.”

  “I want a lemon.” She gives me a look that says if I don’t bring her a lemon she’s either going to cut my dick off, or my neck—depending on if she wants me to live or not.

  “Okay, okay.” I raise my hands in surrender and slice her a lemon, placing the pieces in a bowl.

  I’m learning quick that when your wife is pregnant, you’ll do just about anything to keep her sane. Thea’s crazy, on a good day—but pregnant, she’s certifiable.

  If that means she wants lemons—she gets lemons.

  Sometimes, it also means I have to drive thirty minutes to the 24-hour McDonald’s to get her a McFlurry. That’s only happened once so far, so I’m not going to complain.

  But something tells me the further along she gets, the crazier and worse she’s going to get about things.

  And I get it.

  She has a baby inside her, and that baby is going to get big, and she’s going to be miserable.

  She’s never going to want five kids.

  Having a family wasn’t something I thought about or obsessed over. I’m a guy. I had school, football, and family. But I knew I wanted a big family one day. Once I married Thea, I just started thinking we’d have five kids. That’s probably something I should’ve thought to tell her, but it never came up—I knew she wanted a family some day, and I didn’t take it further than there.

  I carry the popcorn bowl and lemons over to the family room and settle on the couch by Thea.

  “I miss Prue,” she says. “She’d normally be cuddling with us.”

  “I miss her too,” I agree.

  She’s staying with my parents for the weekend, since I didn’t feel right asking Jace and Nova to watch her again.

  “I guess, in a way, she’s like our first baby.” Thea wiggles around on the couch, trying to get comfortable.

  I’m not sure she realizes she does it, but every time we watch TV or a movie, she spends a full minute wiggling her ass around until she makes a nest. Her nest usually involves me, a pillow, and a blanket.

  Today is no different. She fixes a pillow behind her back and drapes the blanket over us before lying against my side.

  The movie starts and she snags a handful of popcorn, smiling up at me.

  If we would have actually managed to find the natural spring, that would’ve been nice. So would have the spa.

  But this is my most favorite thing of all.

  Just being with Thea.

  “I want to buy this place,” I say suddenly, blurting the words out in a horrible case of word vomit.

  “Huh?” Thea says, thinking she hasn’t heard me right.

  “The cabin, this place is for sale. I want to buy it.”

  She sits up, looking at me like I’m crazy. I probably am.

  In fact, I know I am.

  But this place, and what it could mean for our family in the future is what spurns me on. Not just our family, but our extended one as well. Rae and Cade will be married soon, and I’m sure they’re going to start popping out kids. Even Jace and Nova make comments here and there about kids.

  One day, I want us all to be staying here with our kids running around together.

  Even though not all of us are related by blood, we are still family, and I want our kids to grow up like cousins.

  “Are you insane?” she shrieks. “A place this nice must be a million plus. It has six bedrooms.”

  “More,” I say.

  “More what?” she snaps, the blan
ket falling to her waist around her small bump.

  “It’s two-point-two million.”

  “Oh, my God.” Her eyes are wide and she looks like she’s going to pass out. “We can’t afford that. We just bought a house.”

  “Actually we can. We can afford much more.”

  “Are you insane? No way!”

  “Thea, we lived cheap for the first three years of our marriage. Almost one-hundred percent of what I made went straight into the bank. We’re more than fine.”

  She inhales a shaky breath. “This is crazy.”

  “I want this for us.” I take her hand. “Us, the baby, and the rest of our family. I want a place for everybody to go where we can just let loose and hang out. We might all be moving on and going in different directions, but I want a place we can all come back to that’s ours. A place that’s home.”

  Tears fill her eyes. “You’re going to make me cry.” She grabs her stomach suddenly and makes a muffled cry. “The baby kicked.” She laughs. “I think the baby is saying they agree with daddy.”

  Thea smiles and I grin back.

  “We’re buying it?”

  She giggles, rubbing her stomach, and nods. “Yeah, we are.”

  I grab her face and kiss her dramatically, which only makes her laugh more.

  “We’re insane,” she says through tears of laughter.

  “We might be crazy, but at least we’re happy.”

  As long as we’re happy, we have everything, so I’d say our life is pretty fucking full.

  Thea

  17 Weeks Pregnant

  Baby is the size of a pear

  Xander’s gone to practice, so he’ll be missing for the bulk of the day.

  Which means I’m bored.

  I spend ninety-nine percent of my time bored.

  That’s what happens when you can’t get a job and you’re stuck at home.

  I let Prue out and then I head into town. I need something to do, so I might as well shop.

  I head downtown, into the city, and park on a side street. I pull my phone out of my purse and text Rae.

  Me: Hey—I’m in town, can you do something?

  Rae: No, sorry, I’m working.