When Constellations Form (Light in the Dark Book 4) Page 12

  Sarah’s eyes widen in surprise and then horror as she connects the dots. “Oh … oh. But Xander’s not your dad. He’d never trap you.”

  “I know he’s different.” I look up at my husband and he smiles down at me. “Xander is kind and good and amazing, but that fear of what could be still lies there.” I tap my heart. “I grew up seeing my mom not be able to do anything and I vowed to never let that be me.”

  “It won’t be.” Xander presses his lips to the side of my forehead.

  I love that he understands me, and accepts me, even with all my crazy.

  I know I’m not the easiest to love, but he makes it seem like it’s effortless.

  The conversation turns to football, for which I’m thankful.

  After we eat, we all help clean up, and then the guys go to play basketball on the driveway.

  I move down to sit beside Rae and across from Nova—leaving the parents to themselves.

  “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” Rae smacks my arm lightly in jest.

  “I’m sorry,” I apologize. “Xander and I decided to tell our parents first, and then we figured today would be best since everybody could find out together.”

  Rae nods. “Okay, that makes sense, but still—I’m your best friend, you should’ve dropped some kind of hint.”

  I laugh. “The next time I get knocked up you’ll be the first to know.”

  “Hey, what about me?” Nova pipes in.

  “I’ll call you too—conference call style.”

  “You guys need to come over and see the condo.” Rae brightens, her whole being glowing. “It’s almost ready. Do you think you guys could all come over for dinner one day to see it?”

  “Yeah, of course,” I say. Getting out and spending some time in the city with my friends sounds great.

  “That’ll be good with us,” Nova adds.

  “Are you liking living in the city?” I ask, taking a sip of water.

  “Loving it,” she answers, tucking a piece of dark hair behind her ear. “It’s so nice being able to walk out the door and having everything within walking distance. How are you liking your place?”

  “It’s beautiful … but quiet.”

  Rae laughs. “It won’t be quiet for much longer.”

  “That’s true,” I agree, wiping the condensation off my water glass. “We need to start pinning down wedding details,” I remind Rae. “It’s going to be here before you know it. Do you have a solid date yet? I’ll start looking at venues if you do.”

  “We think December second, it’s the first Saturday of the month.”

  “That sounds like a good date. I’ll start looking at places and send you guys some options.”

  “Thanks—I’m excited, but wedding planning is stressful.”

  “That it is,” I agree. “What color are you thinking for bridesmaids dresses? Pink is a lovely color you know,” I joke.

  Rae laughs and shakes her head. “No, no pink. I was thinking maybe an emerald green or purple. I haven’t quite decided yet. Why didn’t you have pink bridesmaid’s dresses?”

  “Because my mom and Xander’s planned our wedding within a matter of weeks and turquoise was apparently the only color they could get.” I roll my eyes. “I don’t buy that load of bullshit for a minute, though.” I close my eyes and groan. Opening them, I say, “This whole not supposed to cuss thing is going to take some getting used to.”

  Nova laughs. “You do have a potty mouth—but it’s one of the things I love most about you. You’re always so pretty and put together, but with the mouth of a sailor.”

  “Um … thanks, I think.”

  “It was definitely a compliment.” Nova smiles, the gesture causing her freckles to spread out.

  “We need a girls’ day,” I declare suddenly, and they both groan. “Don’t even think about trying to get out of it. We haven’t done anything together in a long time thanks to how busy we’ve all been.”

  “What do you have in mind?” Rae asks.

  I shrug. “I’ll think of something.”

  “Please don’t say shopping or nails,” Nova pleads.

  My jaw drops. “But that’s fun.”

  “Maybe to you.”

  I laugh. “Okay, okay—no to those things. I’ll try to come up with something fun and different.”

  Surely, in a city as large as this one, there must be something we can do that we’ll all love.

  The guys come strolling back into the yard.

  “It’s starting to get dark,” Xander observes. “Let’s head down to the park.”

  There’s a park a couple blocks away from his parents’ house that sets off fireworks—like the good kind, not shitty ones.

  “Do you want to walk or drive?” I ask.

  “I think we should walk, if we drive we might have trouble getting out of the lot and it’s not too far of a walk.”

  “When you’re as out of shape as me, it might as well be five miles,” I grumble.

  “If you get tired I’ll toss you over my shoulder.” His eyes sparkle with amusement.

  “Or you could pull me in a wagon,” I reason with a shrug of my covers.

  He grins and holds out his hands to help me up from the chair. “I prefer caveman carrying.”

  I place my hands in his and let him haul me up. I fully expect him to let me stand on my own two feet, but the jerk hauls me up and over his shoulders.

  “Xander,” I cry, kicking. “I’m wearing a dress,” I hiss in despair.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure the goods are covered.” He then uses his very large hand to cover my crotch and butt.

  “Put me down,” I plead.

  “No, too late now.”

  “Xander!”

  Our friends and parents laugh, completely amused by the whole thing and no help to me whatsoever.

  Dickwads.

  Xander carries me the whole way to the park, which is a good half a mile from the house, and the jerk isn’t even winded when he finally sets me down.

  “Whoa.” I sway as the blood rushes back to my head.

  He reaches out and grabs my hips, steadying me.

  “You okay?”

  I wait a moment, making sure the sudden influx of blood to my brain isn’t going to send me puking up my guts again. When I think I’m in the clear, I nod, and he releases me, taking my hand in his.

  We follow his parents through the park, my mom and James behind us, and Jace, Nova, Cade, and Rae behind them.

  We reach the center of the park where everyone is gathered and find a spot to sit in the grass.

  Xander’s parents have brought a couple of blankets and they spread them out so we can all sit down and not itch to death from the grass.

  Xander sits down and tugs me into his lap.

  I giggle as he buries his head into my neck. I scream when I feel his tongue swipe against my skin.

  “Ew, get away,” I bat at him.

  He chuckles, amused by me and not the least bit afraid.

  I settle between his legs, turning to face away from him so I can see the fireworks. It’s almost completely dark now and people begin counting down.

  “Ten, nine, eight, seven,” they chant.

  We join in with, “Six, five, four, three, two, one.”

  Right on cue, fireworks shoot off and explode in the sky.

  The red fireworks light up the sky, and before they completely disappear, more go soaring through the air, exploding in a shower of blue and silver.

  “Wow,” I murmur, the different colors dancing over our skin.

  More shoot off and these are purple. They rain down, reminding me of a weeping willow.

  The whole show lasts no more than thirty minutes and ends with an explosion of so many fireworks that my ears will be echoing for the next day at least.

  The park begins to clear out and we stand up, gathering up the blankets.

  We head back to the house, and Jace and Nova immediately say their goodbyes before leaving in his ancient t
ruck.

  My mom and James depart next.

  “Do you guys want to stay a while?” Sarah asks us.

  Xander looks at me, letting me make the call. “I’d love to, but I’m really tired. I just want to go home and go to bed.”

  She nods. “Understandable. Let me wrap up some leftovers for you. It’ll just take a second.”

  “I’ll be in the car,” I tell her. “Thanks for having us today,” I say to Cooper, giving him a hug.

  Xander heads inside and returns a moment later with Prue. She runs out and jumps up at me, her tailing wagging.

  “We love having everybody over.” He hugs me back, squeezing me a little too tight.

  “Bye, we need to do something soon.” I hug Alexis. “And you.” I hug Xavier. “You should come over when you can.”

  “I’ll try to fit you into my busy schedule,” he jokes, his brown eyes shining.

  “Such a kidder.” I pinch his cheek.

  “Hey.” He pulls away, offended by the gesture while I laugh.

  I hug my brother and Rae next, and they get in his Jeep and leave. I climb in the truck and Xander puts Prue in, getting in the driver’s seat. I’m buckling my seatbelt when Sarah comes back outside with a bowl of macaroni salad and chocolate pudding that we had for dessert.

  I roll down the window for her and she lifts the stuff up for me.

  “Here you go, sweetie.”

  “Thanks.” I smile gratefully.

  “I’ll see you guys soon.” She waves at Xander in the driver’s seat.

  “Love you, Mom.” Xander waves back.

  “Love you.” She blows a kiss as we start to back out.

  I watch Cooper come up and wrap his hand around her waist. She smiles and leans her head on his shoulder. He presses his lips to the top of her head and her smile grows.

  I look over at Xander beside me.

  I want that to be us one day, watching our child.

  And that thought doesn’t even make me want to throw up, so I really should get a sticker or a lollipop for being such a grown up about this whole thing.

  For the moment, at least.

  Thea

  14 Weeks Pregnant

  Baby is the size of a nectarine

  I’ve officially reached the point where none of my clothes fit.

  I know I’m lucky that it’s taken nearly four months to reach that point, but I still find it to be a major fucking inconvenience.

  I huff and groan, and make all kinds of noises as I try to button my jean shorts.

  I flop on the bed, sucking in my gut.

  “Come on, come on, I can do this,” I chant.

  “Hey, Thea,” Xander calls out, padding into the room and completely oblivious to my struggle to get my pants on. “According to this app, the baby is a size of a nectarine this week. It also says that at this point all the internal organs are formed and will continue to grow as the baby gets bigger. How cool is that?” He finally looks away from his phone and notices me red-faced on the bed. “What are you doing?” he asks, tilting his head to study me.

  “What does it look like?” I snap. “I’m trying to put my shorts on and they don’t fit.”

  “Don’t you have others to wear?”

  I sit up and look to the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. “These were my last hope.”

  “Well, shit.”

  I raise a brow.

  “I’ll put a quarter in the swear jar,” he promises. “Do you have anything you can wear?”

  “I probably have a loose dress that’ll work, but I wanted to wear shorts—and they’re all too small now.” I pout. “I’m only going to get bigger. I need to go get some new clothes.” I gulp. “Maternity clothes,” I hiss, like it’s something dirty.

  He shakes his head. “Well, you go shopping. I have to go to practice.”

  “Right, I love you.”

  He closes the few feet between us and kisses me. “I love you too, I’ll see you later for your doctor appointment. I’ll let Prue out before I leave.”

  “You don’t have to go,” I call after him, because I want him to know it’s okay with me and I understand he has other obligations.

  “Not a chance, sweetheart,” he yells back and I shake my head.

  I hear him whistle for Prue and her collar jingle.

  I hop up from the bed and shed myself of the constricting shorts, breathing out in relief once they’re off. My waist is thanking me for the sudden return of blood flow.

  I scour my closet and finally find a loose pale pink cotton dress. I slip on a pair of silver ballet flats.

  I look at myself in the mirror, shocked by how much my belly has popped in the last week. What sucks is, I’m at that awkward stage where people can’t tell if I’m actually pregnant or just gaining weight.

  I poke at my stomach and make a face.

  It’s just weird to think that there’s a baby in there. I haven’t felt it move yet, and the doctor said I might be twenty weeks along or more before I feel the baby move. He said it would be a few weeks after that before Xander would be able to feel it and notice it on the outside. I think he was a little disappointed by that fact. I’m growing the thing, though, so I should be the one to feel it first, let’s be real.

  I think about calling the girls to meet me at the mall but I know they hate shopping, and they’re both busy with work and photography.

  I let Prue back inside and then I head out to the mall. There’s one about thirty minutes away. There’s a smaller one closer, but who has time for that? If I’m going to shop I want to do it right.

  Finding a close parking spot proves to be a challenge.

  I drive around and around until I finally catch someone pulling out. I snag their spot, while someone honks at me, but I’m pregnant so I get dibs.

  I grab my purse and head inside.

  I have no idea what I’m looking for, so when I reach the store I ask for help. I have zero experience shopping while pregnant, so I figure it’s best to leave this to the professionals.

  A couple hours later, and loaded down with bags, I make my way back through the mall.

  And then I have to go and pass the stupid fucking Pottery Barn Kids and see all the cute stuff through the glass.

  So, I mean, of course, I have to stop and look.

  An oval crib calls to me, and I walk over, admiring it. It’s decorated with navy blues and grays for a boy, with a little, stuffed elephant sitting inside the crib.

  I spot a pale pink and cream bedding set and something in my heart lurches.

  One day soon I’m going to be bringing home a little baby boy or girl, to a room decorated like any of these little sets.

  That’s crazy to think about.

  Emotion overcomes and I begin to cry.

  “Ma’am, are you okay?” a worker calls out.

  “Fine,” my voice is thick with tears. “Hormones,” I explain.

  This has been happening a lot lately, at random times too. Like yesterday, I cried because Xander clapped at something on TV and it scared me.

  He felt awful.

  I felt like an idiot.

  I take a few deep breaths and manage to calm myself. “I’m sorry,” I say to the worker.

  She smiles and holds out a tissue to me. “It happens more than you’d think.”

  I take the tissue gratefully. “Thanks.” I dry my eyes.

  “Can I help you find anything?” she asks.

  I shake my head. “Not yet. I don’t want to buy anything until we know if it’s a boy or a girl.”

  “When are you due?” She smiles kindly, not at all bothered by my sniffles.

  “February twentieth.”

  “Well, we’ll see you soon then.”

  I thank her again and then I head out of the store with all my bags. I got enough clothes that it should do me for my whole pregnancy. They already had fall and winter apparel out, with the summer clothes on sale, so that was nice.

  I head to the car and put everything in the
trunk. I check my phone before pulling out and find that Xander’s called me and left a message.

  I put in my password to listen to it.

  “Hey, baby, I just wanted to let you know that practice is running late. Coach is being a dick and drilling us hard today. We shouldn’t be too much longer, and then I have to shower. I will be at your appointment but I might be late. Coach is yelling at me to get my ass back on the field—I love you, bye.”

  I shake my head. The silly boy. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love for him to be there, but I understand he has to work and has obligations other than me.

  I put my phone in the cup holder, not bothering to call him back since he’s either on the field or in the showers.

  I drive straight to the doctor’s office, arriving twenty minutes early.

  Go me.

  I sign in and take a seat.

  Ten minutes later I get a text from Xander saying he’s just gotten in his truck and he’s on his way.

  “Thea Kincaid?” the nurse calls out.

  “Here,” I respond, tucking my phone in my purse and standing.

  She leads me back to the room and over to the scale. “We’ll weigh you and then I need you to pee in a cup for me.”

  “Pee? Why? I’m pretty sure there’s a baby in there.” I point to my stomach.

  She laughs, amused by me. “It’s just procedure.”

  She weighs me and then hands me the cup with the same instructions as before.

  I do my business and wash my hands. She’s waiting outside the bathroom and takes me back to my room.

  “You can hop up there now.” She points to the bed thing. “Just pull your dress up above your stomach and drape this over your legs.” She hands me a sheet. “The ultrasound technician will be in soon.” She smiles before leaving.

  I look around the room, at the charts on the wall. There’s one of a baby in the different stages of development. They change a lot in a week, it’s pretty insane.

  The door opens and I look up, expecting the tech, but I smile from ear to ear when I see that it’s Xander.

  “How late am I? Did I miss it?” he asks, shutting the door behind him. His hair is still slightly damp from a shower, and he’s in clean clothes—a pair of khaki shorts and a white t-shirt.

  I shake my head. “No, you’re right on time.”